The ring: $5,300 The proposal: Priceless
We love these big moments because we can all relate. We've all had experiences in life where we go all out and make a gigantic leap into a risky situation. Even if the possibility of it going sour is very small. It's scary.
There's another reason we relate those tender hollywood or homemade movie moments. There's no story there to inspire us unless she says, "yes" with some level of enthusiasm. (She could say no, but that's a story for another day.) The tears of joy, the hugs and kisses, jumping up and down, hands over the mouth excitement.
The ring
Hey, what about the ring? You know, the expensive rock he carefully selected to impress her? That man has spent significant time, money and research to pick the perfect ring. He knows more about cut, color, clarity and carat than he will likely ever need to know again. And yet, in that magical long moment of life's biggest question and answer game, no one focuses on the ring. It's the events leading up to that moment and the events that come later where it really gets interesting.
Sure, there's the happy beginning leading to a long and happy ending. But it's the mistakes made and overcome during a lifetime together that we really want to know about. Why? Because it's in the mistakes where we feel like the fallible humans we are and we want to know we're not alone.
Not the ring
The ring is a beautiful symbol of eternal love and devotion. But you can't talk to a ring, laugh or cry with a hunk of carbon. You need your closest friends and family to make it grand. Life is full of happy beginnings, middles, and endings. Don't spend it jabbering about flossing, politics, or choosing an outfit each day.
We want to hear the juicy stuff, like how Valentine's dinner went great until I dropped the big, chocolate enwrapped cheescake on the floor, right at his feet. Or how I finally fell asleep, suddenly heard someone breaking in, called the police only to remember (by way of naked-running-down-the-stairs-out-of-the-shower-dripping-husband) that my mother-in-law was staying overnight.
These little and big memorable moments happen every day and they are worth their weight in a thousand engagement rings to tell and retell.
Your fun thing to do: Recall one thing that you started, finished, or messed up totally and write it down as an innocent bystander might describe the scene. It might look something like this:
Rage of the caffeine
Let's say you went to the local coffee shop to pick up your morning brew and notice that it's sorta quiet. You blurt out to the barista, "Hey, what's going on? It's like someone died in here!" Only to find out that, indeed, your barista's grandmother died that morning.
Here's how a bystander might describe the same event:
Linda waltzed in to the coffee shop this morning with her usual bright colors and noisy jewelry all smiles. And without thinking about why the music was quieter and everybody was heads down into their laptops and earbuds, she announces with all of her gusto, "Hey, what's going on? It's like someone died in here!"
You should have seen the look on Sarah's face as she burst into tears and ran to the bathroom. The manager told Linda what happened and she took off like a shot after Sarah, right into the bathroom. Apparently it went well, because after about five minutes, they both came out with red eyes all hugs and buddies. I guess they're better friends than I thought. That was great of her to go and be of comfort to Sarah, she could have just been embarrassed and left. She's a really nice lady after all, that crazy Linda lady.
As you read over what you, writing as the bystander wrote, you get a much fuller picture of what was going on. The real story wasn't about a death, or a loud colorful character who frequents the coffee shop. The story was about two people experiencing a typical day in an untypical fashion. We can all relate to feelings of embarrassment, compassion, forgiveness and comfort.
So go ahead, give it a try. Find something in the last week that happened that may seem only slightly out of the norm and write it in the third person. See if you think that suddenly, you're more interesting that you thought!
Bonus smile
Here is a link one of my favorite proposal videos on the web. Enjoy the day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMhHgU0-AUc
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