Celebrate every birthday!
"I'm not five, I'm five-and-a-half!" cry our children as they yearn to be big. Growing older means having more of everything they want—to be heard, valued, and have more independence, all of which means one thing—more fun!
We plan elaborate birthday parties, especially for the milestone ages of 1 (a major milestone for the parents), 16 (driving permit), 18 (official adulthood), and 21 (drink legally for the first time). By age 22, you don't hear people say, "My, look how big he's getting!" Why is there no more bragging about your age after your early 20s? What happened to that urgency to be older?
I think it may have something to do with actually living the independent life we so longed for in our youth. Teachers and parents expect to hear from you, girlfriends and employers value your time and attention, and we seem to strike a happy balance in our 20s and 30s earnestly working and having fun.
"I'm not 63, I'm 63-and-a-half!"
The 40s, 50s, and 60s seem to bring with them a sense of weariness and gloom. Birthday celebrations occur once every 10 years often accompanied by black streamers and balloons. "When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned," says Ellen Degeneres in her book, "Seriously…I'm Kidding."
Aging through mid-life takes on an urgency of preservation as we preserve our right to speak and be heard, continue to live a life of value and worth, and above all, strive to maintain our independence.
Bragging rights seem to begin again after age 78 when we've outrun the average life expectancy in America. That sense of pride in aging picks up where it left off somewhere in our childhood. I hear people say, "I'm almost 90 you know," and "In a few months I'll be 84." Depending on our mindset we also refer fondly to the group with whom we most closely relate, whether you are 50 or 102, "I'm a senior," "I'm an older adult," or "I'm an elder."
I noticed that families start to celebrate more frequently and deliberately each year an older adult reaches a birthday. Why? Because you think there might not be another one, right? When there are grandchildren and great-grandchildren alive to know a grandparent, it becomes more important to really know that person in your family who has lived so many more years on this earth. But why?
I think that we long to hear our elders share experiences, stories, and lessons from their lives bcause stories connect us across the generations. We value our parents' opinions as we weather life events they have successfully survived. Even as elders may grow more dependent for some activities, we strive to accommodate their needs with dignity because we begin to glimpse our our futures in the distance and wish for such love and care upon ourselves in the years to come.
It is my opinion that birthdays are to be celebrated every year because each day gives us new experiences and therefore more stories to tell. So, celebrate your years, you've earned the right to tell us about the highlights of every one!
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